A lot of guys lament on their personal profiles or whatnot about how much they love to cuddle. Who doesn't love to cuddle in the infancy of a budding romance? Come back to me in 13 years and tell me how much you love it.
I still enjoy it, providing the whole ordeal takes place in under a minute. After that, I get sweaty and short-of-breath. But I still try for those rare moments!
Case in point: I tried to cuddle last night (as is my wont). I always go to bed later than Rob these days because he's introduced me to the joys of political arguing commenting on newspaper articles and blogs. I was not aware of this practice until I discovered Rob spending hours on his laptop while ignoring me, except for occasionally asking me to proof-read his latest diatribe. I told him it's pointless to debate people in these comment sections because the only people who read them are partisans who already have their minds made up. "Maybe so," he says, "but my comment has been 'recommended' by 27 people." His latest mission is to comment on local newspaper web sites in battleground states. "If I change one person's mind, then I could help decide this election."
So after I submitted my final comment of the evening, I got into bed and nuzzled up to my partner in sodomy (as is my wont). He made some agitated whimpers, like a distressed Terri Shiavo. "Ihhhh, stop, I'm sleeping." I'm like, "No, you're not, you're talking to me -- stop lying." "Ihhhhhhhh!" With forceful drama, he flipped away from me onto his other side. Fine, I'll just put my arm around you and pull you closer to the warmth of my love.
I didn't realize as I put my arm around him that he had picked up a glass of pink lemonade on his bed-side table to take a sip. My hand hit the glass and it fell on the floor, splattering him and the sheets with pink liquid. Oops.
He leapt up all exasperated, wet and pink, looking like Carrie. "Look what you did! I was sleeping!" I'm like, "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't spurn my love. God is trying to send you a message." He scoffed off to the bathroom to towel off. I assisted by sopping up the sheets with a cum rag. He returned to deliver some more anti-loving rhetoric my way. I was all curled up in a ball under the comforter and said, "Keep your voice down, I'm trying to sleep."
Interestingly, I found him curled up next to me an hour later. Hmmm.
Cuddling is a sweet, desirable novelty in the first year of a relationship. And intimacy (and lots of it!) is a necessary ingredient to sustain a healthy relationship for the long haul. But cuddling is only a small aspect of it. If you still cuddle, great; if not, don't worry. It doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. Everyone knows that the true test of a relationship's future prospects is whether or not you still engage in mutual rimming with your partner. If, years later, you still do -- then you and your man are as good as gold.
Two and a half years, and we're still cuddling. Ain't nothing better than resting your head on a warm, hairy chest and feeling two big, strong arms wrapped around you.
I have to disagree with you here. After 12 and a 1/2 years we still like cuddling and massages and back scratches from each other. And it's not the rim jobs that hold it together it's the day to day friendship. We always have so much fun being together though even if life sucks most of the time. You both may try focusing less on the political aspects of this big old fucked up world and concentrate on the happiness you can bring each other in your small more important world.
DB: Yes, yes, yes. I said intimacy is important. We obviously get along since we spend 90% of our time together. But only 1% is spent holding him down to cuddle. The rest is spent being all friendly and reading poems to each other and buttsexing. I still stand by rim jobs as a good gauge -- which is, actually, a delicate form of back scratching.
First...only four words...HYS TER I CAL.
Second, I agree that the cuddling is only one aspect of intimacy. We cuddled plenty at first but after 12 years, my adorable lil Buckethead and I also pretty much limit it a minute here and a minute there. Part of the reason for this is that my snoring is approaching near operatic levels forcing the partner to flee to another bedroom. (He's played recordings of my snoring for me...I am lucky he didn't flee to another time zone.) Don't read this to mean and end to the sodomy...there's still PLENTY of sodomy...thank you Mr. JESUS!
But at the end of the day it really sharing a common frame of reference (read you get all of each other's jokes)and being each other's best friend and buddy that makes all the crap that life hurls at us much more enjoyable.
Excellent post.
I'm making my husband read it tonight.
(married 3 years, together for just over 12)
:-)
Aww...that's so sweet.
God, if you're up there, thanks for keeping me single.
Professor TJ, what if my boyfriend is not into rimming? He prefers pinning me down and give love bites to my neck, does that mean our relationship is going down the toilet soon? Please help!!!!!
DB: Tick tock.
Just when we thought the Jimbo rating system of exotic fruit was going to be your last original post ever, you finally got off your ass! YAY!
Whenever I try to CUDDLE, I get accused of it being a flimsy attempt at trying to poke someone. (because it quickly escalates to that) I can't help it. Slab wants in! Unfortunately, I am denied each and every goddamn time! Ugh.
TJ I thought you were going to conclude this post by saying "cuddling is bullshit - it's all about constant buttsex." But you didn't! I'm so proud of you.
Brett: you are always erect. That's why people think you want to poke them when you're supposedly "cuddling."
How come we didn't cuddle when I visited? I feel unloved.
Wait, wait... all this talk of cuddling, rim jobs, butt sex. Not only am I terribly excited by it all, but also terribly disheartened. My relationship looks nothing like this, mainly it's lots of inappropriate public groping and furious mutual masturbation in elevators etc. Does that still count? I mean aven after the first year it shows no signs of fading, so I'm good right, I'm not doomed or anything am I?
This is going to take a lot of rimming to fix isn't it?
Not every two people who are otherwise compatible are compatible for cuddling. It's really not a big deal as long as you fuck well and enjoy each other's company.
As for rimming: that's disgusting. I can't believe there are men out there licking other men's assholes. Ewwwwww.
Amen! I keep telling the young ones in love that it's not everything. I'm not averse to it, but not when I am trying to sleep; touch me then and I will keep you awake all night talking. And I can talk til dawn so don't fuck with me.
Now you want to cuddle on the couch, well that's alright. I just won't cuddle with anyone, I don't give it away to every guy who buys me a drink.
Now if I were to use the information provided in this post, I think I will be with my man for at least a few more years. We have only been together for about a year and a half but I think we rim eachothers booginas more than we cuddle. In fact, I know we do. But we do cuddle on weekends for at least a few minutes. But not on Sundays because in the bible it states...One man may not lay with another man if the intent is to engage in a long bearish hug.
By the way. Tell Rob that his strategy is great! The partner and I made the trek up to Wisconsin (Buckethead's home state) and put in a days work campaigning for the home team. It's doing our bit since Illinois seems like a slam dunk for Obama. Now, by stealing Rob's strategy, I am just going to stay at home in my jammies and stalk people at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinal site.
I think all one really needs is a cuddle bed.
http://www.xkcd.com/335/
Ehm... who was the camera boy of this new added photo? Is there a waiting list for such position? Where to signup? :D
This photo is FANTASTIC!! And it goes so well with the posting. Awesomely hilarious
Brilliant...as always, TJ. And priceless... ;)
Cuddling is HIGHLY overrated (IMHO). I much prefer my personal space left uninvaded.
Oh, and from the looks of you in that picture, you feel the same way.
Dude,
What's with that hideous headboard?
This is a great post! After 12 1/2 years I am still trying for a minute or two of cuddling at night, but often get the same reaction you described. Why does God torture us by pairing us cuddlers up with non-cuddlers?
Great photo, too.
Mark :-)
After 10 years we cuddle when we read in bed at night and I get stroked.
On the back
19 years later and the rimming continues. Of course, at our age that's a visual you could surely do without.
re: your political commenting...you two may want to look at this...
http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2008/09/24/mccain_letters
Yummy cuddlely hot mess.
5 demerits for the decore.
yum...sexy shot TJ..
shame there was so much clothing between us...
cuddling skin-to-skin is HOT.... or in my case, hair to hairier!
Miss you guys! :) WOOF
Hmm... according to that logic... if you are having marital problems, all you need to do is turn the thermostat way down before you go to bed.
I'm a great cuddler when I'm awake. When I'm asleep, not so much.
I tried to walk away after commenting on the ABC Charlie Gibson blog after his interview with Sarah Palin. I couldn't. It just grew from there to commenting on the ABC News article about the interview. People would say things like, "I wasn't sure who to vote for, but because Charlie Gibson was so mean to Sarah Palin during the interview, I've made up my mind to vote McCain/Palin." I'd clench my eyes, power down my laptop, close the lid and walk away. But I just couldn't deal with it. I'd be back whacking away ten minutes later.
.. at the keyboard.. THE KEYBOARD! (I swear, you guys' minds!)
I like cuddling -- before and after sex. It's the best thing in the world.
I'm totally the King of Cuddling. Never enough.
I have read your blog for ages and loved it. I have a question rather than a comment, and it's completely unrelated to your posting. Where can I find a really fat, hairy stripper?
I like to cuddle! I couldn't imagine having a bf who didn't. The ones I've encountered over the years never made the cut. Now they know why. *G*
I don't understand how some people can not love to cuddle. It is by far one of my favorite things to do. You start with a little cuddling, then get hot, rough, wild and sweaty. Then when it's all done, you go back to some intense cuddling. It's fantastic!
Almost 13 years here and the cuddle is gone. we have dogs that prevent us from making contact, but on holiday we get our cuddle on and even spoon.
I could never sleep arm in arm with anyone anymore. i love hubby to death, but i love sleep just as much and I can't fall asleep and cuddle at the same time.
Maybe it was just God sending the message you shouldn't drink pink lemonade in bed?
I love cuddling, and so does the bf. As for rimming, I don't think one excludes the other.
Rodger, at your age or any age, you and Mark make wonderful "visuals."
Whoa. If that stud on top of you is your bf, no wonder you're so devoted to rimming. If you two ever make a porn ape, I'd buy it. Maybe even a tape of you two cuddling.
After attending a bear party this past weekend with several of TJ’s readers in attendance, I was puzzled by the questions posed to me about cuddling? Unfortunately, I had not read the entry on the blog much to TJ’s scorn. As he noted I have been busy posting comments to swing state newspapers and sending letters to the editors. It has become an obsession - I enjoy rebuking Rush Limbaugh talking points. Factcheck.org is my new best friend. Anyway, we do cuddle but not when I have been asleep for several hours. TJ is a night owl and I am a morning person so our schedules differ when it comes to sleep. I am up before 6 am on most morning. Unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of napping during the day and my cubicle does not lend itself to sleeping. I have to be conscious at work. If my sleep is disturbed I often have trouble falling back to sleep. FYI - The juicy muscle bear on top of TJ is not me it is our good friend the Sarge. I was the photographer until we took our clothes off. The room is in a downtown hotel room in Washington DC where the Sarge was staying.
Did you take turns taking pics after clothes were off?
Rob -
Thank you for the incredibly hot mental picture. I have been a fan of The Sarge and his equally hot man the former Mr. Bartender since I saw them in TJ's Thanksgiving post. Also thanks for the great idea about posting in swing states. We've run him out of Michigan...Ohio next!
Wow..such fun responses ... and I thought my ass looked massive in the pick (no snickering please).. The sarge strikes again--I'll be heading back to DC, if all goes well, for a work trip that may coincide with the November blowoff-err-I mean, a chance to mosh in the saliva pitt.
Missing everyone!
-the sarge
ps: rangergeek...I also am up at 4am each day.
He's night guy, I'm morning guy...so the cuddling don't meet in the middle often enough, but after 20 years, can't our Memories of cuddling help?
20 years and rimming? I want to hear from YOU after 20 years and see if you and Rob are still puckering up for that.
Ok. ARe you leaving this post up until you hit 50 comments or something? Seriously... you need to post more.
Your husbear looks like he may be a handsome fella. Nice rear quarter. Please post more pics of him!!
I thought that ass looked familiar...
This picture exemplifies exactly what is wrong with gay culture right now. You can't get a muscular hot bear like that unless YOU'RE ONE OF THEM! NOT cool. I as a more slim, refined, and younger gent (24) should be entitled to the same rights to cuddle and fornicate with men much different than me. We should be embracing our differences... Most gay couples I see look exactly alike... and this is NOT cool in my book. No sirree!
Zu diesen Sachen wollte ich schon immer mal mehr wissen. Toller Blog.